educator, writer, speaker, devoted family man, amateur philosopher, chess enthusiast, basketball junkie, connoisseur of fine hip hop, and purveyor of wit and wisdom

Now it’s January.


As some of you know, this past year of 2008 was tough for our family.  It was filled with way too much cancer, way too much sadness, and way too much frustration.  Tara and I (and our families) never went through a year like this, and the only thing we kept telling ourselves is “Let’s just make it to January.”

Now it’s January.

I have always been an optimist.  But this past year has done something to me.  It’s hardened me…or made me a bit more cynical…I’m not exactly sure.  When I look back on the past twelve months, it’s just been ridiculously difficult.  Out of respect for some of my relatives’ privacy, I won’t list a lot of details here.  Besides…if you talked with me at all in the past few weeks, you already know the details.

But now it’s January.

I never saw a therapist before, but I had to finally see one back in October.  There was a point back then when I almost lost it.  I don’t think the session helped much.  After we talked for a good hour or so, she told me that I really need to think about letting go of some things.  Everyone kept telling me that.  I have a lot of responsibilities and several things to look after.  I look after my family, but they don’t really look after me.  I take care of my work at APU, but it will be a few years before my degree can take care of me.  I spent 2008 taking care of everyone and every thing, but I never took care of myself.

But now it’s January.

My only resolution this year is to devote less time to everyone whose name is not Robert Daylin Brown.  I don’t have much of a choice anymore.


One comment on “Now it’s January.

  1. David
    March 4, 2009

    The winter of our discontent can often be the fertile ground for growth and change. The fall and winter of 2006, and the spring of 2007 consisted of quite a few funerals involving old people dying of old people things and one young person dying by a bullet from the gun he placed in his mouth. It made me think about the man I want to be and what it takes to make it to a good, ripe age, and what that means. I don’t have it all figured out yet (does that sound hilarious coming from a 28 year old?), but we all have a certain working life, kind of like a car. Some of us are hotrods, some of us are civics, some of us are hybrids, but regardless of what we are, it would be ridiculous to wait until major damage has been done to change the oil, fill up the gas tank, rotate the tires (sounds like a list of euphemisms, doesn’t it?). I don’t know why I forget this so easily, but I got to be centered if I am to be of help to anyone. Blessings.

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This entry was posted on January 1, 2009 by in Musings and tagged , .

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Soulquarian Quote of the Day

"There is no hip hop manual for growing old...The 22-year-old college grad who used to love the Roots in 1994 never left. He’s just 40 now and has a wife and kids and doesn’t feel like spending all night at a club."

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