educator, writer, speaker, devoted family man, amateur philosopher, chess enthusiast, basketball junkie, connoisseur of fine hip hop, and purveyor of wit and wisdom
Before I go any further in this blog post, I want to make it undeniably clear that I’m not jealous. I don’t have a jealous bone in my body…never have. I’m an empath, and part of that means having the ability to relish in someone else’s good times.
Now…That being said…
A few days ago, my family came by to ooh and aah over baby Brown. It occurred to me that many people (mostly of the female variety) can’t help but fawn over something simply because it’s miniature. People love kittens, but not cats…puppies, but not dogs (notice that Paris Hilton carried a chihuahua in her purse and not a great dane.)
Tell me if any of this sounds familiar…
I remind you…I’m not jealous. I’m just amazed that, for most people, things are automatically deemed cute because of their miniature size. That got me thinking…is there any miniature thing that is actually LESS appealing or cute when compared with its normal (or larger) version?
So for today’s Five for a Friday…
Five Miniature Things That are NOT Cute at ALL
(NOTE: anything in blue text is “clickable”)
#1: Brussels Sprouts
I actually like cabbage, and I think it’s perfectly fine in its regular-sized form. However, these mini-cabbages are hated BECAUSE of its small size. First, its compact structure (with its layers and layers of dark green leaves) gives it way too much of a plant-like taste. Second, they look like the testicles of the Jolly Green Giant. (Not that I’ve ever actually SEEN his testicles…I just imagine that’s what they would look like. Not that I’ve ever actually IMAGINED what they…you know, why don’t we just move on to number two…)
#2: Herve Villechaize
Herve Villechaize starred in the hit ’70s television show Fantasy Island. I can’t be the only one who agrees that Herve Villechaize looks a lot better in his larger size version (commonly known as Rod Blagojevich).
People who love sleep know that naps don’t work. I’ve never felt refreshed after sleeping for 20 minutes. It just doesn’t work for me. Give me the real deal (four to eight hours) over the mini-sleep version any day.
#4: Fun-size candy bars
Take, for instance, an Almond Joy. Great candy bar, but it looks like a turd. When you look at one of those “fun-size” Almond Joy bars, it just looks like a smaller turd. Not cute at all. But my real issue with these tiny bars is the name. They should not be called “fun-size”…what fun is there in eating a fraction of a normal-sized candy bar? They should be called “boring-sized” candy bars or “my-grandmother-is-only-giving-me-this-because-I-ate-all-my-Brussels-sprouts” candy bars.
What do you think? Leave me a comment.