educator, writer, speaker, devoted family man, amateur philosopher, chess enthusiast, basketball junkie, connoisseur of fine hip hop, and purveyor of wit and wisdom

Five for a Friday #11

Before I go any further in this blog post, I want to make it undeniably clear that I’m not jealous. I don’t have a jealous bone in my body…never have. I’m an empath, and part of that means having the ability to relish in someone else’s good times.

Now…That being said…

A few days ago, my family came by to ooh and aah over baby Brown. It occurred to me that many people (mostly of the female variety) can’t help but fawn over something simply because it’s miniature. People love kittens, but not cats…puppies, but not dogs (notice that Paris Hilton carried a chihuahua in her purse and not a great dane.)

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar…

  • “Oh my goodness, just look at the baby alligator! It’s got those little baby alligator legs and that little alligator smile…it’s sooooooo cute!” [Let’s just see how cute that alligator is when it’s biting off your toes like Tootsie Rolls.]
  • “Oh my goodness, just look at Rhode Island! Oh look at its little freeway and its governor and OMG it’s sooooooo cute!” [Nobody calls Texas cute.]
  • “Oh my goodness, just look at the baby’s little fingernails! And he has your nose…it’s sooooooo cute!” [If the baby has my nose, how come no one complements me on my nose…you know…when it is actually on my face and not on the baby’s face?]

I remind you…I’m not jealous. I’m just amazed that, for most people, things are automatically deemed cute because of their miniature size. That got me thinking…is there any miniature thing that is actually LESS appealing or cute when compared with its normal (or larger) version?

So for today’s Five for a Friday…

Five Miniature Things That are NOT Cute at ALL
(NOTE: anything in blue text is “clickable”)

#1: Brussels Sprouts
I actually like cabbage, and I think it’s perfectly fine in its regular-sized form. However, these mini-cabbages are hated BECAUSE of its small size. First, its compact structure (with its layers and layers of dark green leaves) gives it way too much of a plant-like taste. Second, they look like the testicles of the Jolly Green Giant. (Not that I’ve ever actually SEEN his testicles…I just imagine that’s what they would look like. Not that I’ve ever actually IMAGINED what they…you know, why don’t we just move on to number two…)

#2: Herve Villechaize
Herve Villechaize starred in the hit ’70s television show Fantasy Island. I can’t be the only one who agrees that Herve Villechaize looks a lot better in his larger size version (commonly known as Rod Blagojevich).

#3: Naps
People who love sleep know that naps don’t work. I’ve never felt refreshed after sleeping for 20 minutes. It just doesn’t work for me. Give me the real deal (four to eight hours) over the mini-sleep version any day.

#4: Fun-size candy bars
Take, for instance, an Almond Joy. Great candy bar, but it looks like a turd. When you look at one of those “fun-size” Almond Joy bars, it just looks like a smaller turd. Not cute at all. But my real issue with these tiny bars is the name. They should not be called “fun-size”…what fun is there in eating a fraction of a normal-sized candy bar? They should be called “boring-sized” candy bars or “my-grandmother-is-only-giving-me-this-because-I-ate-all-my-Brussels-sprouts” candy bars.

#5: Child-size Electric Cars
Celebrities look much better while sitting in full-sized cars compared to sitting in those miniature electric versions.

What do you think? Leave me a comment.


6 comments on “Five for a Friday #11

  1. Debbie
    October 1, 2010

    This made me laugh! You should read my latest post ‘The Doll’s House’. Ive had lots of comments of lovliness associated with teeny weeny furniture and such, not to mention nostalgia.I could put up a picture of my own house and see if it receives the same oohs and aahs? I think not!

    I love ‘small’ personally. It’s the idea of such detail being possible in a tiny object or person.

    Having said that – I dislike those small paperbacks that are in tiny type and are printed that way to save money.
    I prefer larger dogs to small (Paris Hilton I am not).
    I dislike da teeny Nokia mobile phone I had once – kept losing it in my bag and prefer the iphone.
    I am with you on brussel sprouts (don’t ever microwave them as a friend of mine did).

    Bet your new little baby Brown is beautiful!

  2. Myrna R
    October 1, 2010

    I agree with your choices (except I don’t really know who that is on Fantasy Island. Didn’t watch the show.)

    I think I’ll add myself to the list. Not that I was ever great looking, but as I age – I’m getting shorter, smaller. The wrinkles in time will make me look a whole lot less cute.

  3. David Williams
    October 1, 2010

    I am actually convinced that the word “cute” is a synonym for small and that is why small things are cute.

  4. Darlene
    October 4, 2010

    I agree with you on the child sized cars! However, I hope I can forget the visuals you supplied for the brussel sprouts (which I love, but only when roasted), and the almond joy! Maybe it will work out in the long run…I won’t be eating turd sized candy bars! And, I also agree that there is nothing fun about puny candy bars!

  5. Karen Peterson
    October 4, 2010

    You know what is small that I don’t find very cute at all? My paycheck.

  6. Lori Chaney
    October 12, 2010

    Ok Mr. Brown… It seems to me that you have too much free time on your hands if this is what you have resorted to discussing. Lol with that being said PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME BACK!!! WE ALL MISS YOU!!! I mean don’t get me wrong yes it is important to have the “bonding time” but yeah these subs are just a very sad replacement for the “real deal” sorry no offense to the gentlemen that were kind enough to assist us in our CHC100 class but you guys just aren’t Mr. Brown. So anyways yeah that is my take on this particular post. Take care and just know we have all been counting down the days til you come back. All my best to you and your family and congrats on your newest edition. Take care. ~lori

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